Everybody Loves Large Chests
All That Glitters 6

“Gotta admit Boxxy, you got balls,” said Carl over the cross-dimensional telepathic line. “Very few Warlocks would be willing to try pulling a prank like that.”

It was now the promised three hours after Boxxy’s ‘application declaration.’ And while the Mimic spent that time by alternating between Artificer practice with Fizzy and having fun with its collection of shinies, Carl had to deal with hundreds, possibly thousands of calls from selfish demons who probably did not take no for an answer.

“Just getting a bit of payback for that ‘Boxxy Show’ thing,” replied the Mimic.

“What, on me?”

“Who else?”

The monster really did not take kindly to the thought of having an untold number of demons watchings its every move. And while the main perpetrator was the God of Impossibilities, the simple creature lacked a way to get back at him. Therefore, it lashed out at the most convenient target.

Of course, it realized later that its little stunt probably pissed off a bunch of demons that might have spilled the beans on its secret out of spite, but Kora and Xera assured it that wouldn’t happen. Apparently the Goddess of Chance had given all familiars a gag order not to disclose the existence or contents of the ‘Boxxy Show’ to mortals. Which was also why they couldn’t tell their Master, as both of them liked not being divine retributed upon. Not only that, but Kora said a large portion of the viewers knew full well that the box was full of shit and just harassed Carl for the fuck of it.

“Well, I may have deserved that a little bit…” consented Carl. Despite everything, he still kind of liked Boxxy. “Right then, shall we get on with the familiar selection process?”

“You won’t sabotage my contract to get back at me, will you?”

“‘Course not. You do realize I’m a Devil, right?”

Devils were pretty much the only demons that used violence as a last resort. They would much rather enslave or dominate mortals with soul-binding contracts and feed off their suffering rather than punch their faces in. They very rarely made an appearance in the physical realm, and instead tempted mortals with bittersweet promises without even leaving the Beyond. They also vehemently abided by all clauses of any contracts they made, almost as if their very existence hinged on it. That was probably why their kind was officially in charge of managing Warlock-familiar relations.

“In other words, you won’t screw me on the contract, but you’ll still get me back somehow,” deduced Boxxy.

“Better believe it, buster!”

The two shared a small chuckle as Boxxy finished putting together the landmine it was working on, giving Carl its undivided attention.

“Alright, then. Give me a minute to pull up the relevant forms here. Oh, and do forward me your Status.”

Boxxy did as instructed and waited while listening to the all-too-familiar clacking noises from across the line. Come to think of it, what were those about? Well, it would just ask another time. It really didn’t want to put off this contract any more than it had to, as the sun was about to come up. Not that it was worried about Rowana waking up, though. Snack had been tasked with keeping her magically sedated and was currently in standby next to her. It was hardly the first time they had done this, although the Mimic had to make sure it gave her specific orders not to mess with the elf.

Simply keeping Rowana asleep took very little effort on Xera’s behalf, which left the demoness with nothing to do and made her terribly bored. This was something her Master failed to take into account the first time it had to sneak out of that house at night. When it returned a few hours later, it found that the succubus had been toying with the blissfully unaware elf to keep herself entertained.

Rowana’s face had penises scribbled all over it, her nose and mouth were full of demonic semen and the succubus was about to shave Rowana’s pubic hair for some unknown reason. Boxxy somehow managed to clean up any evidence of her antics without the elf realizing, but had to thoroughly punish Xera for her misbehavior.

Which was exactly what the succubus wanted in the first place.

“Alright,” said Carl after about a minute. “Everything appears to be in order. Well then, what species are you looking to form  a covenant with this time?”

This was actually something Boxxy had been thinking on for a long while. While it was entirely possible to have another succubus or fiend around, it wouldn’t be very practical. Although flexible to a degree, a demonic familiar was essentially a tool. There was a right and wrong way to use it, and having more of the same tool didn’t mean the work would get done any faster or easier. Therefore, of the remaining three species available, Boxxy chose the one it felt would fit in best with its posse’s composition.

“Stalker.”

The Mimic’s current entourage was sorely lacking when it came to stealth. Boxxy always found itself having to leave Fizzy, Snack and Arms behind whenever it wanted to sneak around, leaving it without immediate backup should things go awry. Granted, Snack could sometimes accompany it, but she lacked the means for a silent takedown. Therefore, a Stalker’s natural aptitude for skulking around made it a perfect candidate. Not to mention their vaunted anti-magic abilities would surely help negate the shapeshifting monster’s bane - lightning-based magic.

“... Alright, if you say so,” came Carl’s strangely delayed response. He then continued with the next question.

“Male or female?”

“Female.”

According to the high-Level Demonology Skill, females Stalkers were generally slimmer and more lithe than males, making them better at hiding their presence. Having less muscle mass than the males also meant their melee attacks would struggle to penetrate armor, but that wouldn’t be a problem.

“Height preference?”

“Mid-range.”

Too tall and it would mean the demon would be too big a target. Too small and its attack range would suffer.

“And I’m assuming one with a large chest, right?”

Boxxy very nearly answered ‘Yes’ on reflex, but stopped itself due to a sudden epiphany. The chest-shaped monster turned its attention towards Kora, who was nearby and once again stuffing herself down Ambrosia’s throat. It took note of the pair’s quartet of watermelon-sized breasts and the way they shook back and forth as the fiend violently face-fucked the dryad.

“Uh, Carl? This question about chest size, does it perhaps refer to breasts?” Sᴇaʀᴄh the n0vᴇl(ꜰ)ire.ɴet website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

“Of course it does! What else would- Oh.”

There was a moment of awkward silence as both parties realized their mutual misunderstanding.

“So then,” said Carl, trying to get the contract process back on track, “do you want a familiar with large or small tits?”

“You said it doesn’t impact their performance, right?”

“That’s right.”

“Then it doesn’t matter.”

“Large it is!”

*Takak-taktak tak tak*

“Hey!”

“What? You said it didn’t matter.”

“Well yeah, but-! No, nevermind.”

There were a few more questions and answers before Carl came to the last and perhaps most difficult question - the one that would determine the familiar’s subspecies.

“Okay, and do you have any additional requests or requirements?”

This was a question that Boxxy was woefully unprepared to answer the first two times. It simply didn’t know any better, so it had to rely on Carl’s interpretation of its wishes. While things did work out in the end, the Mimic could have found itself royally screwed over since it didn’t know any better. This time was different though, as reaching Level 6 in the Demonology Skill allowed it to understand just how important this question truly was.

Choosing the right variant of demon was almost as important as choosing the right species. For example, while all succubi were manipulative, devious shapeshifters that relied on magic in combat, only a Cerulean Succubus such as Xera would be able to manipulate people through dreams. Viridian Succubi, on the other hand, could secrete certain sedatives and toxins at will, while Crimson Succubi were experts at creating illusions. If Boxxy had been stuck with one of the latter two, then it was highly doubtful it would have been able to survive this far.

This time, however, Boxxy knew exactly what it wanted - a specialist.

“I want a Hornet variant, one that has experience using the Rogue Job.”

The Stalkers Boxxy asked for could inject their targets with a weak paralytic venom that would dull their target’s movements and leave them open to further attacks.

“She also needs to be competent at using the Assassination and Misdirection Skills,” continued Boxxy, “as well as have knowledge of fighting magic users. Especially Cryomancers, Shamans and Wizards.”

Those three Jobs were the ones Boxxy was most wary of. According to its research, Shamans and Wizards were the two main sources of lightning-based magic, while a Cryomancer’s ice had the power to seal movement and prevent shapeshifting almost instantly.

“Well, aren’t you a discerning customer?!” said Carl, the surprise obvious in his voice. “And it feels like it was only three months ago when you were asking me if the Beyond was tasty!”

*Takak taktak taktak*

“It was three months ago.”

Also, Boxxy never did get an answer to that question.

“Oh, right. Anyway, as per usual you got an instant reply to your request. Your third familiar is all set up and ready for action.”

Well, that was fast. Boxxy thought this one might take longer since it had some specific demands, but it would seem that hadn't been a problem after all.

“Will that be all for today?” asked Carl.

“Yes.”

“Would you like to fill out a survey to help improve our customer service?”

“... Okay, sure.”

“Well, that’s too bad, because we don’t have something like that. Thank you for calling Demons ‘R’ Us, we’ll be in touch!”

*Click*

…

The Mimic honestly wasn’t quite sure what it was expecting from that ‘survey,’ but that definitely wasn’t it. The important thing was, it finally had obtained a third demonic servant. Thinking it was perhaps a noteworthy occasion, it told Fizzy, Kora and Ambrosia to gather around and witness the new girl’s first summoning. Xera was currently on babysitting duty, so she would have to wait until later.

Boxxy activated its Summon Familiar Skill while focusing on the third being linked to its soul. The concentric circles of light spun around for 10 seconds, followed by a small flash of light.

“Skreeek!”

There was a shrill screech, and the Mimic saw a glimpse of something yellow and black burst out of the lingering magical glow and skitter across the ground at breathtaking speed. It was moving away from the group, clearly intent on leaping off the dungeon core platform and hiding itself away in the darkness. Not that Boxxy was going to let it do that so easily.

“Stop where you are,” it commanded, and the demon that looked like a weird, person-sized spider froze in its tracks. “Come to me.”

The creature turned around and, strangely enough, stood up. The 160-centimeter tall spider-woman walked unsteadily towards the Mimic. Her hesitant behavior was to be expected. Her kind hated being seen, so being placed in the spotlight like that was probably making her really uncomfortable.

“That’s close enough,” said Boxxy once she was less than a meter from it, and started carefully appraising her.

Her hair was black, styled in an asymmetric, short ponytail that was tied off with a string of small beads, and had a pair of hair clips on her left bangs. Her skin was a reddish-purple, and while her head was fairly human in shape, her face was the most monstrous of Boxxy’s entourage. Although it looked human at its core, it bore several bug-like features that drew attention away from its natural beauty. For one thing, she had two compound, bug-like eyes that were solid black and slightly reflective, and she had a pair of crescent-shaped markings on each cheekbone. Her normal-looking mouth was surrounded by a set of four, short mandibles that poked out from around the corners of her lips and loosely resembled tusks. A pair of black, beetle-like mandibles grew out from the sides of her head around where the ears would normally be and extended all the way down to in front of her chin. They were curved, serrated, and looked sharp enough to bite someone’s arm clean off. Their pointed tips clacked together incessantly, giving off a soft, chittering noise.

Surprisingly, her actual body was also mostly humanoid in shape, with two arms and two legs. What gave off the earlier impression of a spider were the 6 spider-like limbs jutting out from her back. They were sleek, covered in black chitin and tipped with long, scythe-like blades that were part of the limbs itself. She must have used these to crawl along the ground earlier, and those shiny blades looked like they could turn a man into mince meat in seconds. They also looked to be about as long as her primary pair of legs, although the way she kept them curled up behind her made it hard to judge.

Her breasts were large and perky, although not quite as big as a succubus’s, and her thin waist and wide hips gave her a fittingly waspish figure. The upper part of her breasts were covered in black-and-yellow-striped chitin that ran up to her collarbone and extended upward to protect her neck and throat. The smooth-looking material also formed a pair of light shoulder pads and wrapped around her back and sides, as well as covering up her nether regions. Her stomach area and the underside of her breasts were left exposed, prompting Kora to give her a quadruple thumbs up while saying ‘Nice underboob!’

The Stalker’s upper arms and thighs were left similarly unprotected. The black-and-yellow carapace extended down from her elbows and along the length of her abnormally long forearms, almost like a pair of gauntlets. Her arms ended in a pair of thick, armored wrists, and each hand had three thick fingers tipped with a long, sharp claw each. These were clearly not appendages intended for grasping tools, but weapons designed to rip people apart.

Her legs from the knee down were similarly covered in the same carapace. Two long, dagger-like growths jutted out from the front of either of her toeless feet, almost like a pair of knives in a V-shaped pattern. The carapace on the top of her feet was shaped to vaguely resemble elongated skulls, while a number of sharp spikes jutted upwards from around her ankles.

“Very nice!” commented Boxxy, causing the spider-girl to start fidgeting and turning her face to her left side, seemingly to avert her master’s gaze. “Every part of you looks like it was designed to maim a person! Very nice, indeed!”

“She’s really fast, too,” noted Fizzy. “I couldn’t even keep my eyes on her when she made a run for it earlier! I bet she could outrun my Armored Charge if she really tried!”

“Milord’s newest servant is most impressive!” said Ambrosia with an uncharacteristically bright face. “Spiders art a natural predator of termites, after all!”

“Ah, crap, she’s a Stalker,” said Kora as she suddenly remembered something.

Fiends and succubi were the only demons whose physical forms had genitalia. The former used them to force themselves on others and establish dominance, while the latter were used to quite literally wring the life out of mortal men. Meaning that since this lady was a Stalker, she had nothing between their legs, much like Ambrosia. Unlike the dryad, however, Kora had absolutely no intention of putting her prick anywhere near that Stalker’s mouth.

“Uhm…. Uhm!”

The spider-girl suddenly let out a quiet voice, that sounded surprisingly youthful, almost like Keira’s. It grew steadily louder, as if she was gathering up the nerve to speak up.

“I’m… Uh… My name is… Tktktk… that is…”

Her clicking mandibles started making loud noises in between her fractured words, like some sort of nervous tick, but that only seemed to make things worse. Realizing she was getting nowhere, she suddenly closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths and faced her master properly for the first time.

“My name is Dreaheath Uniolphial Maramakartor!” she shouted out. “I look forward to servicing- I mean, serving under you!”

Just as Boxxy expected, it was another pointlessly long name that was difficult to pronounce.

“You are now Claws,” declared the Mimic.

“Un-understood! I shall work myself to the bone for you, Master Morningwood!”

“Good. I look forward to seeing you in action. First off, let’s set some ground rules!”

It quickly gave the newcomer the same set of standing orders it gave the other familiars. Things such as making sure she doesn’t compromise Keira’s disguise, making sure not to harm Boxxy’s other minions - including Fizzy and Ambrosia - and to avoid indiscriminate killing of people without the Mimic’s say-so. The nervous-looking spider-girl replied with a curt nod after each order.

“Alright, I think that’s everything,” declared Boxxy after a few minutes. “Well then, since it’s almost dawn, I’ll leave you to get better acquainted with the others. I’ll be giving your abilities a proper test run tonight, but I trust you will not disappoint me, Claws!”

“O-o-of course notktktktkt”

“Good! Now then-”

Boxxy was about to turn its attention towards casting the Transfamiliar Spell-

“Uhm! Master! I have something else to say!”

-but Drea’s sudden outburst stopped it in its tracks.

“What is it Claws?”

The Mimic still had some time, so it decided it might as well humor her, though it doubted she would say anything worthwhile.

“W-Well the thing is that, uhm… I uh… Lo-tktktkt... Lo-tktktktk… Fuuu! Fuuu! Fuuu! ... I LOVE YOU!” she blurted out finally.

“That’s nice,” said Boxxy, clearly not giving a damn. “Well then, I’ll be going.”

Drea stood there with her arms and sickle-legs wrapped around her as if she was hugging herself. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, yet no sounds came out until the Mimic disappeared in a puff of smoke, at which point she immediately ran off on all tens to hide in the darkness.

Xera, who had traded places with her Master, caught a glimpse of the retreating Stalker. She then took note of the widely smiling dryad with cum leaking down her chin, the mithril golem who had her face in her palms and the fiend with the uncharacteristically worried look on her face.

“Okay… So. What I’d miss?”

ChaosTube didn’t get good reception outside of the Beyond, so she was still a bit out of the loop. She had been told Boxxy contracted a Stalker, but that was about it.

“This is bad, bubble-butt,” said Kora. “The new girl there said she loves the boss.”

“You’re sure of this?” asked Xera in a stern voice. “She said she loved the Master?”

“Oh yeah. Loud and clear,” confirmed the fiend.

“Ah crap, this might get ugly…”

“What’s the big deal?” questioned Fizzy. “Are you getting jealous or something?”

“No, of course not.”

Xera was quite confident in her position as her Master’s tastiest Snack, and that was as close to a genuine romantic relationship that thing was ever going to get.

“It’s just that Stalkers have a hard time telling the difference between affection and appetite.”

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